Entropicurity’s blog

This will be my first installment on trying to express my experiences as a GM in order to help further my impact on being able to host long detailed games and sharing this experience with others in the hopes that I will one day be able to play in rather than Host an epic campaign.

So the first thing I'd like to talk about are the different roles players usually like to take a part in in most of the games I've played and give some ideas on some new roles that could help blend and mix in with a particular group.

In most games where there are at least 4 players, it is often a good idea for each person in the group to play a unique role that helps keep the game together. These roles usually consist of the following:

• The Tank - Also known as the Defender Role in d20, The defender specializes in the ability to negate, absorb, and mitigate damage across the battlefield. If a player is in danger, the tank has what it takes to intercept and draw the attention of the threat or divert attacks from the player to himself as he is better adept at handling the damage and defending against their attacks.
  
• The Damage - Also known as the Scrapper Role in d20, This role is all about dealing out the pain. This can be done in any number of ways, but the idea is to eliminate the enemy in short order with the "I shot you first, therefore I win" mentality.
  
• The Support - Also known as the Leader Role in d20, Support can range from pure regeneration of healing to the boosting of abilities and statistics during and outside of combat.
  
• The Manipulator - Also known as the Controller Role in d20, the Manipulator is all about manipulating the environment of in and out combat situations in order to put things into your favor. There isn't much damage that goes along with this role, though there is a lot of damage done directly to statistics and dispelling and enhancing various spells and abilities on the battlefield.

These roles can be seen rather commonly throughout most games. d20 tends to focus a lot on this, but games such as City of Heroes/Villains, World of Warcraft, and EVE also have these roles. The thing that enhances all of this is that there's different aspects to each role. In a normal Fantasy campaign, these roles can be divided into Martial, Religious, and Arcanic, and have a range from melee to ranged combat. which are detailed as follows:

• Martial: Martial is what is concidered the "physical" domain of abilities. Rather than focusing on Divine intervention or Arcanic knowledge, the player relies on pure ability and skill in order to accomplish these means. For a Tank, the ability is purely the players innate ability to absorb damage through high amounts of health and using equipment and the like to negate damage all together. For the Damage Dealers, this is all about either hand to hand combat, or using a special weapon in which the character has practiced and harnessed to perfection in some way. For Support, it deals with Leadership skills through shouts and word of mouth to help inspire those around him, using medicine and the like in order to enhance and boost allies. For the Manipulator, the character relies on attacks that have hindering affects, using word of mouth to influence peoples emotions, and using items that otherwise control large parts of the battle field.
• Religious: In this case, people rely on faith in order to protect those around them, including themselves. Religious still uses equipment, but the equipment has been enhanced in some way by faith and tradition. The combination of using divination and blessings and curses a player has a wide range of choices in which roles they use. For a tank, the player can use enhanced armour and special innate abilities like auras and blessings in order to help shield them from attacks and spells and also have the ability to heal themselves through leaps of faith. For the Scrapper, the religious uses combinations of curses and harmfull spells to dwindle their opponents to submission, though the religious often times focuses more on the healing aspect of their faith in order to provide a more substantial support role. Religious also acts as a good controler in that it acts as a universal buff, rather than controlling the players themselves, enhances their abilities and changes the emotions of their opponents through faith and blessings.
• Arcanic: Arcane inspiration or knowledge in any game provides a number of abilities. Arcane is all about the ability to have "tricks" that emulate or otherwise alter situations in their favor. For example, an Arcane can focus on shape shifting in order to gain the attributes of that of a bear, or give themselves stoneskin in order to negate damage. They have tricks that can increase the size of an ally in order to either enhance themselves or enhance another tank player in order to make them harder to ignore. In this regard, Arcane tends to be the perfect controler, but also tends to be the perfect Scrapper as well, having the ability to deal damage that otherwise negates damage resistances and armour through sheer power and study.

Now these are just the basic roles one can find in a Fantasy like campaign. These roles can change dramatically, although still hold true in the case of Futuristic campaigns where technology gets so advanced that it often requires an entirely new character to fill the role that technology provides.

Either way, if the GM goes into the game and knows these basic mechanics, the players can work together to create unique combinations that help with the flow of the game and as long as the players talk to each other about each of the roles no one will ever have to worry about "stepping on other peoples toes" as well as ensuring that there is no downtime between players due to a lack of a role in a group.

Hello all,

Well, was in the process of starting a tangent journal in this of my super heroes on City of Heroes but I've since diverted my investments and attention to getting the latest game Spore (No Monthly Fee) and paying off my credit card so I can start moving toward consolidation of my student loans.

Job life has been interesting. For the first time in about 3-4 years I've gotten my first job. It pays REALLY well, but at the same time there is quite a bit of turn over. The owners and manager of the company claims to say they like hard work... but they hold you accountable for every little mistake you make. As such,  it doesn't really matter how much time you've spent with the company, they will more than likely fire you on the spot, or have you train your replacement and the fire you. Or so the rumors go... nobody really knows for sure, each person who has been fired up to this point have been because of random things which all probably added up to the eventual loss of employment. Either way, it makes me rather nervous as I have to meet up to very high standards, which tends to be really hard to do with the fact that I have a disorder that complicates things quite a bit.

Since I'm someone who really needs to take about 10 hours of sleep, I get about 8 hours of sleep with work and by the end of it all I end up having to miss work once every other week as my body tries to "catch up" on sleep. This has made it hard to come to work, as I've missed two days so far and as a result they've tried to fire me, aka "Don't come to work unless you have a doctors note." kinda deal. Fun stuff, can't blame them I guess, the owners are trying to make every penny count there, I just hope I don't get caught up in all of it.

"Just call my name
You'll be okay
You're scream is crawling through my veins"

Lately I have been the center of attention for a lot of people who are in need of a good friend. Recently I came in contact with a really nice woman in Ohio who's actually bipolar just like I am. We didn't find this out until we traded phone numbers and started talking, but I found that she doesn't take any pills unlike myself.

Its been interesting though, its actually kinda comforting that people can reach out and find comfort with me, and can relate to me on levels that other people can't even reach. But I wonder, is this friendship something I should save for someone special or should I share myself with those who are willing to accept me for who I am and not ridicule me for being as open as I am.

Either way, I'm happy that people can find relationships that are fulfilling with me, it would just be easier if these people lived closer to me. Theres that physical aspect of a relationship that I can't fulfill for my friends, aka giving hugs and cuddles for those who need it that makes it really hard sometimes.

Oh well... lets see how things go and see what life tosses me next heh?

We Are Not Alone

Breaking Benjamin

"Why am I here?" "What am I for?"

These are questions that people come to me for. They are questions of Purpose, and is something that I have found to be one of the most ironic discussions to people, as the people who ask this question often times are in a stressful situation and have been forced to ask controversial questions like this in order to justify their own decisions in life.

Well for those who want to know, I have a purpose to bring upon change in the world. This is a purpose that every human being shares. At the same time, a person's purpose can be more profound as they find that one nitch that makes an impact in this world. For some, living for another person is enough of a change in the world to give someone purpose. Its this same fact that makes people so familiar to the idea of having a life partner, cause they feel that they can influence this person, or people depending on your persuasion, in a positive way, and at the same time, their partner can change you for the good. This comes with a lot of trust and understanding between people.

Ironically, it is this very same purpose that people are scared of at the same time. Change brings to bearing the unknown, which can be scary in its own right. But without embracing change, people can not progress... civilizations will not grow... and socities will not flurish. It is this very change that defines who we are as humans, as we make changes to this world every second that we breath, speak, and act.

I shall share this with you, and hope that you can accept this. If not, I urge you to find your own place in this world by whatever means suite you best. I only bring about change, just like any other, I just choose to make that change positive, change that brings about hope and happiness.

For those lost out there, I wish you the best on your adventures and hope that my words can bring about hope and happiness in your own life.

Thats right, a quarter of a century. The big "25." Apparently I get a reduction in car insurance, and I get to be eligible for car rentals. In this past week, I have gotten in touch with 3 of my exe's and they seem to be looking for some comfort of their own. I've given each of them a fair share of attention, some even more than others, and I'm happy to say that I continue my reputation as of keeping a woman smiling and am happy to admit that I live my life surrounded and involved with some of the most beautiful women in the world. I just hope that at some point I will have someone I can share my life with exclusively, and share with them things that I can't share with anyone else.

Asside from the exe's I guess this would be a good time to recap on my accomplishments. As i've already mentioned, I've graduated college, and with a lot of honors to go with! But I've been able to survive and continue to survive a mental illness. I have gone from completely disabled to almost full recovery in that I've gone from no work, to part time, and now working on getting my first full time job since I went into the hospital three years ago. Over this time frame, I've made and lost many relationships, both intimate and casual. I've learned and am now working on implementing advanced communication techniques to better communicate during arguments which happen to be the single most significant triggers for my disorder. I now am working on furthering my music collection, and as of today I have over 4030 songs to my name. I have been able to put together a very unique variety of DVD's, half consisting of anime, and the other half consisting of a combination of Childhood Favorites like Edward Scissorhands and Mary Poppins to Action/Comedy movies like the Matrix, Transformers, and a whole slue of Jet Li Movies (The One in particular is one of my favorites). I've been able to leave a lasting impression on some of the worlds largest MMORPGs, and can honestly admit to have run a popular Dungeons and Dragons Eberron Campaign for 3, now going on 4, years and have a whole collection of stories to share with anyone interested in learning. I have also found myself in unsurmountable debt, but as I grow older, I have slowly eliminated my debts that have gone to collections and once I have a full time job, I should be able to pay off my credit card debt by the time my Social Security gives out.

Things I'd like to achieve in the near to far future: I'd like to be able to control my habit of being so selfless, putting other people before myself when in actuality I'm the person who needs the help the most. As mentioned before I'd like to find someone to share my life with exclusively and to share with them things that I can't offer to just anyone. I'd like to continue to expand my music collection, I'd like to continue to add more DVD's to my collection, and at some point I'd like to get myself a good suit that actually fits. I'd like to be able to afford a decent wardrobe, and I'd like to be able to become independent both spiritually and financially. As time goes on I'd like to document my beliefs so that it can be shared with those who are interested in viewing the world in a very unique perspective. I'd like to possibly pursue a career in teaching or counseling. I really feel that I would be good at it, and would enjoy it immensely. What age group I would be good at though I have no clue.

So here's to looking to the future. May my past 25 years grant me the strength, hope, wisdom, and fortitude to face the things that have yet to come!

Saving Abel

Saving Abel

"Hello, my name is Christopher, and I suffer from Bipolar Mixed Mania."

This is how each meeting starts. What meetings? Support groups in particular. I've been trying to find a place to escape, a place to discuss my problems, and rather than dwell on the problem, have time to focus on my successes as well. Though lately I've found that people who have yet to achieve the "acceptance" part of life, they like to dwell in the past, acting in denial and blaming those around them for their problems. I have often times thought of this as counter-productive, but I've found the past has its way of catching up to you if you haven't truly found a way to deal with them in their own proper way.

I for one, have found that I have dealt with most of my demons and have achieved a certain level of happiness through my many trials and tribulations. Though if there was something I had to still worry about, its the matter of money.

For those who don't know, I am a graduate of ITT Technical Institute with an Associates of applied science in Computer Networking Systems/Information Technology. I am not only an Honors Student of my Graduating class, but I am also the Valedictorian of my class, having the highest grade in my department of study. One would assume, with such credentials I would have a very good paying job in the field of study that I have, which to be honest I did for a good while.

Though as my body would have it, I found myself in front of a doctor one fateful day begging for an alternate to giving up my life in order to escape the dramas that had found their ways on my doorstep. In what seemed like no time at all, I had lost my girlfriend, I had made a comment to a friend that insulted my father who promptly kicked me out of their house after having lost my job and the apartment that I had been paying off so that my now-exe girlfriend to move into with me and start a new life. I had ended up in the hospital not too long before that for having a seizure during class, this seizure cost me a large lump sum of money as I could not afford Health Insurnace at the time and as a result started my first step towards gaining debt, having to work with College programs as a source of research in order to get decent health care. This eventually led to me having to use this states really poor Public Transportation system and causing a lot of stress to those I knew as they worried I would get jumped or something similar during my travels.

Couple this with a really bad habbit of taking on other's worries and troubles as stresses of my own, I found myself overwhelmed with stress and thought death would make it easier on the world since it was having so much trouble accepting me. This was of course irrational, but thanks to years of conditioning its made it rather simple to think of this: The Human mind is always trying to find an "easy way out."

So my doctor before me explained how I was beyond his help, though he knew of a place I could go. Desperate for alternative options (As I knew full well that death was indeed "The End" and that scared me immensely despite how friendly the idea seemed to me at the time.) So it was at this point that I admitted myself. At first, I found myself bashing my head into walls, windows, the sharp corners of desks, screaming, yelling, and otherwise just not acting humaine. A good couple of shots and pills later, I found myself pleasantly sleeping up to 24 hours a day, overly medicated but without a care in the world.

As the months go by I find myself not getting therapy, but instead pills prescribed to me with a "Lets see how this works" attitude. Unfortunately for me, this world is still in a state of confusion when it comes to Mental Disorders and the solution to most mental disorders is plainly to just put you to sleep. For example, At one point I was in the ward sleeping 20-24 hours a day, eating and using the restroom in 2 hour spurts only to go back to sleep again. The doctor saw this as a "fix" to the problem and sent me home. This didn't fair well with my family, as I gave them a good scare one morning when they were trying to wake me up (I can't even remember what for) and apparently I didn't have a pulse. When paramedics arrived I woke up, but in such a incoherent state that I was mumbling, crying, drooling, and sweating profusely from just about every inch of my body. I remember it very clearly as I was completely conscious, scared to hell that I couldn't speak, and wanting to portray how trapped I felt but with no real ability to express it other than just to cry and mumble and move around incoherently.

Needless to say they found a magic pill that fixed it all, where the only side effect was I gained about 2-5 pounds a month. As most good things do, this didn't last long, and instead of just a couple of pounds a month, I had gained a total of 50 pounds in a matter of two months. My doctor concerned at the time took a blood test and found my liver was showing signs of stress so they took me off that pill immediately.

Those familiar with my story know, that this pattern tends to last a lifetime. The pattern in which you find a pill that works, only over time that your body "adjusts" or becomes dependent on the drug so much that you have to take more of it, therefore making you more susceptible to its side affects. The sad thing is, a lot of these medication's side affects can literally disable you outright or leave you in such a stressful state that you can't help but be overwhelmed by the magnitude of everything crashing around you all at once because your old medication is no longer supporting your mental functions. For those who survive this torture as I have, I salute you and commend you as you know just how disabling this can be, and how hard it is to fight the urges to just give up as there is very rarely a light at the end of the tunnel to help guide is in the right direction.

Though, when it crashes, it does so in such a way that it shakes the very foundation you base life on. In my case, my great successes at ITT Technical Institute game at a great cost... 60,000$ worth to be exact. This was for an associates degree, and it was a risk I was willing to accept assuming the good reputation that ITT Tech has with job placement (which they claim to support for life, though they seem to be having trouble dealing with disabled persons like myself). Instead of keeping the great career that I had in the hospital, I was basically considered completely incapable of working for a solid three years. I couldn't' volunteer, I couldn't work part time, I couldn't' help friends and family with simple chores... I spent my days dealing with constant medication changes that varied at least once every two to three months for three years. As of 6 months ago I was officially "Ok'd" to work part time. And ONLY part time.

After these six months, Sallie Mae, my student loan lender, stated that I could no longer defer my student loan payments (as it had been officially 2 years past the point where I had to start making payments) and that I had to start making payments of around $750 to $1000 a month. Since I only am working part time (at minimum wage no less) and receiving the small amount that those familiar with the Social Security Deposits know, and with the some 6,000$ worth of medical expenses that my health insurance didn't cover while I was actually in the hospital, I was pretty much put between a rock and a hard place.

So, as of today, I have done what research I can. My doctor has Ok'd me to work Full Time for the first time in 3 years as long as I have reasonable hours during the day (as my sleep cycle requires I get at least 10 hours of sleep a night). Sallie Mae has given me a small boon of reducing my payments to only 450$ a month for the next two years, though all of the money goes straight to interest. I have asked them time and time again to consolidate my loans, though they claim that they stopped consolidating loans around the middle of last year (which I as at a passe since I couldn't make ANY payments and they wouldn't approve me for the consolidation anyways). In this past month, I have found Sallie Mae to be manipulative and extremely powerful in the face of millions of other Sallie Mae recipients, taking on many class action lawsuits for injustices done to credit scores and lending money out to students in un-liscenced schools, and somehow becoming exempt in every form of the law thanks to government lobbyists for Sallie Mae. I am left, as far as I have been told by both lawyers and friends alike, with only one option. And this is an option that is very unlikely to happen as I haven't found a single company that does this, but essentially get a private loan that would be paid off over the span of 30 years at a 12-20% interest rate, making my $60,000 loan a loan of $250,000 or more over the 30 year timespan.

I still have much to learn, and from what I understand the government with new lobbyists and advocators are now starting to put into motion a change that could very well put Sallie Mae out of business. This doesn't' mean I get out of my debt though, as Sallie Mae, in practice, is also a debt collection agency, and as such they can hold those under them liable for years to come. I can only hope, that at some point after I lose all my social security benefits for working full time that I'm able to afford my medical expenses, my student loans, and still have money left over to actually pay for my car insurance that helps me to get to the job so I can actually give them more money.

For those of you who have shared my pains, and know of the difficulties there are with dealing with unexpected mental breakdowns in the most inconvenient times, let yourselves known. I want everyone to know that you are not alone and there are those fighting the battle with you. For those willing to help myself, or any other person in my same situation let me know, and I shall continue to chronologue my adventure so that all may see.

With that, I thank you for taking the time to read up on my life's adventure. I only hope that by living as an example I can help people in the future with their decisions when making student loans and that they are aware of what could happen when they least expect it. Keep your private loans small, try to get as many scholarships as you can manage no matter HOW you get them, and work your way through the governmental hassle to get as much of your loans on federal as you can, as those are the only ones you can currently consolidate.

Enjoy the small things in life, as they are often the few that make life worth living...

Best wishes to all and goodnight.

Well, with the particular interest I've been having with friends in other states and countries I've decided to invest into a webcam. So far its been nice, and the cam has some cool features like auto adjusting the contrast and brightness and stuff, really cool. Anyways, here are the first pics made eva!

What is your favorite dish on the Thanksgiving table?
Submitted by Kadeeae.  

Mashed Potatoes with Brown Gravy... oh so sexy.... *drools*